Quranic Foundations And Structure Of Muslim Society
(4)DUTIES
TOWARDS RELATIVES IN GENERAL
(1)Duties
of Commission
The
Holy Qur’an has enjoined looking after the well-being of one’s
relatives—sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews,
grandparents, grandsons, granddaughters, etc.—and rendering to them all
possible assistance with the purest of motives. In that connection:
(a)It
emphasizes thorough conscientiousness in respect of the ties of kinship:
“… and
reverence Allah in Whom you claim (your rights) and (reverence) the wombs
(i.e., the ties of kinship) …” (4:1).
(b)It places the
duty of doing good to one’s kith and kin immediately next to the duty of doing
good to parents—which stands at the highest in the category of social
duties,—thus highlighting the great importance of the duty to kith and kin :
“… and do good to parents and to the
kinsfolk …” (4:36).
(c)It makes
economic assistance to the kinsfolk, with the noblest motive, one of the basic
ingredients of practical piety:
“… (it is true
righteousness) to spend of your substance, out of love for Him (i.e., God), for
your kith and kin …” (2:177).
(d)And not only
that. Doing good to one’s relatives and assisting them in their needs, is not
just an optional act of goodness but an unavoidable duty; because the relatives
have a definite right whose fulfillment a Muslim owes to them:
“So give what is due to kindred57…”
(30:38).
Also 17:26
Again:
“Verily Allah
enjoins justice, the doing of good (to others in general), and giving to
kinsfolk (their due) …” (16:90).
Thus:
Duties of Commission towards the kinsfolk may be broadly classified into:
a.Maintaining cordial relations with them, and
cultivating love for them;
b.Rendering economic assistance to them, whenever
necessary;
c.Doing good to them in every other way.
(2)Duty
of Omission:
The Holy Qur’an condemns
in strong terms the damaging of the ties of relationship with one’s kith and
kin; hence to abstain from it is duty:
“… The transgressors, who break
the Covenant of Allah after ratifying it, and sever that which Allah ordered to
be joined (i.e., damage the relationship with, and violate the duties they owe
to, among others, the kinsfolk), and act corruptly on the earth, these are they
who are the losers.*” (2:26-27).
Also 13:25
g
(5)DUTIES
TOWARDS DOMESTIC SERVANTS
The
Qur’anic doctrine of love for God and man is so thorough and comprehensive in
its scope that it transforms the formal, and often temporary, relationship of
“give and take” between the employer and the servant into a relationship of
liberality and love, giving to the domestic servant virtually the role of a
part and parcel of the family.* In any case, the Holy Qur’an has
made it a duty for every Muslim to do good to all those who are under his
control and in subjection to him, including the domestic servants,—and to treat
it as one of his basic duties:
“… and do good to parents … and to
those whom your right hands possess (i.e., those who are subject to your
authority) …” (4:36).
*
This aspect of relationship has been explicitly propounded by the Holy
Prophet (Peace be on him). He says in connection with the prisoners of
war, who, so long as they do not obtain their freedom, are to be
distributed in Muslim families to serve them and who stand below the
ordinary free domestic servants and, as enemies, hardly deserve any
privilege according to the canons of pre-Qur’anic laws and, for all
practical purposes, of the post-Qur’anic laws:
“…
Whoever has his brother (human being) under him, he should feed him
with the food that he himself eats, and clothe him with such clothing as
he himself wears. And do not impose upon him a duty which is beyond his
power to perform; if, however, you command them to do what they are
unable to do, assist them in that affair.” (Bukhari: Sahih, vol. 2,
Kitab al Adab).
Quranic Foundations And Structure Of Muslim Society
(B) DUTIES OF HUSBAND AND WIFE TOWARDS ONE
ANOTHER
1. Duties of the
Husband Preliminary:
The
Holy Qur’an stresses the extra-ordinary importance of, and hence the duty of
extreme carefulness about, the relationship of marriage:
“… and be careful of your duty to
Allah, through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and to the wombs. Verily
Allah ever watches over you.” (4:1).
It
should be noted here that in the Arabic text the word ‘womb’ has been coupled
grammatically with the word ‘Allah’ in respect of the observance of carefulness
in duty, thus highlighting the position of the mother and the wife in the Qur’anic
teaching.
(1)Duties
of Commission:
(a)Protecting and maintaining the wife stressed as an
unavoidable function of the husband; hence fulfillment of this function is
duty:
“Men are the protectors and
maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the
other, and because they support them from their means …” (4:34).
(b)Treating the wife with kindness and equity enjoined:
“… and (O
Believers!) live with them (i.e., the wives) on a footing of kindness and
equity …” (4:19).
(c)Toleration of the faults and the shortcomings* of the wife, enjoined:
“… If you take a dislike to them
(i.e., the wives), it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about
through it a great good.” (4:19).
* According to Nemilov: “Anyone familiar with the physiology and biology of woman will be less annoyed and irritated at her sudden change of mood, allegedly unreasonable flares of temper, her unmotivated acts. Understanding this, man will deeply sympathize with the bearers of the egg cells who, having the same aspirations and claims upon life, are burdened with more difficult biological tasks.” (Biological Tragedy of Woman: pp. 187,188).
(d)Spiritualization of physical relation, abstaining from
damaging wife’s dignity through unnatural offence, and keeping the duty of
parenthood in view with due regard to wife’s health enjoined:
“Your wives are a tilth unto you
(like the soil which accepts the seed and brings forth the plants). So go in
unto your tilth (and not anywhere else) when and in what manner you like; but
send (good deeds) before you for your souls; and fear Allah (in respect of your
moral and spiritual obligations towards your wife, towards yourselves and
towards the offspring that you may beget as a consequence): and know that you
will (one day) meet Him. And give (O Muhammad) glad tidings to the Believers
(i.e., those who, as believers in the Qur’anic Guidance, remain devoted to
spiritual and moral values even in carnal pleasures).” (2:223).
A
commentator of the Holy Qur’an comments on this verse thus:—
“Sex
is not a thing to be ashamed of, or to be treated lightly, or to be indulged to
excess. It is as solemn a fact as any in life. It is compared to a husband man’s
tilth; it is a serious affair to him: he sows the seed in order to reap the
harvest. But he chooses his own time and mode of cultivation. He does not sow
out of season nor cultivate in a manner which will injure or exhaust the soil.
He is wise and considerate and does not run riot. Coming from the simile to
human beings, every kind of mutual consideration is required, but above all, we
must remember that even in these matters there is a spiritual aspect. We must
never forget our souls, and that we are responsible to God.
“It
was carnal-minded men who invented the doctrine of original sin: ‘Behold’, says
the Psalmist, ‘I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me’
(Psalms, 51:5). This is entirely repudiated by Islam, in which the office of
father and mother is held in the highest veneration. Every child of pure love
is born pure. Celibacy is not necessarily a virtue, and may be a vice.” (A.
Yusuf Ali, op. cit., note 249).
(e)Concern for the welfare of the wife in all respects,
specially the spiritual, stressed, and hence looking after the physical,
mental, moral, spiritual and economic welfare of the wife is duty:
The Holy Qur’an has taught the prayer:
“… Our Lord! Grant to us the
comfort of our eyes from our wives and our offspring, and give us (the grace)
to lead the righteous.” (25:74).
Moreover,
the Muslim husbands and fathers have been entrusted with the following duty:
“O you who
believe! protect yourselves and your wives and children from a (spiritual) Fire
…” (66:6).
While
expounding the teaching contained in these verses with respect to “duties”, in
the section on “Duties to the Offspring”, we have already seen that these
verses relate to the duty of ensuring the physical, mental, moral, spiritual
and economic welfare.
(2) Duty of Omission:
There
are several duties of omission which are directly and indirectly contained in
the foregoing as well as the forthcoming discussions relating to the “Position
of Woman” and the “Husband Wife relation.” One specific duty, which is not
contained there, may, however, be mentioned here.
Accusing the wife falsely,
or without proper evidence, has been regarded as a heinous crime; hence to
abstain from it is duty*: The Holy Qur’an says:
“And those who accuse clean women
(of unchastity) and then produce not four (eye-) witnesses, scourge them with
eighty stripes and accept not their testimony for ever. And these! they are the
transgressors.” (24:4)**
* It is also a duty of all men towards all women.
** The procedure of law in case of accusation of the wife by the husband of adultery, has been mentioned in the verses that follow. We shall deal with it when discussing punishments.
2. DUTIES OF THE WIFE Of
Commission and Omission:
(a)Submissiveness to the husband as the head of the
family—not in servile manner but with the spirit of dignified maintenance of
harmony;
(b)guarding the conjugal rights of the husband through
abstaining from doing anything that may, in the least measure, violate her
chastity;
(c)protecting the prestige and the property of her
husband:
The
above three virtues form the unavoidable functions of the righteous wife,
according to the Holy Qur’an; and hence constitute the basic duties of the
wife.
The Holy Qur’an says:
“… So the righteous women are
obedient (to God and submissive to their husbands), and guard in (the
husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard (i.e., their chastity and
the prestige and property of the husband) …” (4:34).
(C)
LAWS RELATING TO ABNORMAL SITUATIONS AND THE RESPECTIVE DUTIES:
1. Efforts of the
husband, in case of wife’s refractoriness and fear of desertion, to bring her
to the path of rectitude:
“… As to those (wives) on whose
part you fear rebellion and desertion admonish them (first); (in case that does
not reform their conduct) banish them to beds apart; (lastly, if they still
prove to be incorrigible, you are permitted to) beat them (with a tooth-brush
or something like it, in order to awaken in them the sentiment of self-respect
and the consciousness of the seriousness of their guilt in itself and in
respect of its consequences for the family-life, and in a manner which causes
no injury or pain to them). Then if they obey you (by returning to the path of
rectitude), seek not a way (of harassment or illtreatment) against them.
Verily, Allah is Most High, Great (wherefore it does not behove you to
tyrannize over your wives).” (4:34).
This
verse speaks of serious breach in loyalty to the marital bond on the part of
the wife. Now, there can be three ways: (1) to divorce the wife off-hand; (2)
to take the matter to a court of law; (3) to deal with it at personal level.
The Holy Qur’an prefers the last, and that for obvious reasons. The first is an
extreme measure, and its consequences may be very damaging for the wife or for
the family as a whole. The second alternative is scandalous and means ‘washing
dirty linen’ in public. It invites accusations and counter-accusations, and it
is specially damaging for the wife. It is the third alternative only, the one
prescribed by the Holy Qur’an, which is the best in the interest of the wife
and of public morality.
In
connection with beating the rebellious wife, there are certain important facts
which should be borne in mind:
Firstly,
to resort to it as a last remedy has been merely permitted, and not made
obligatory.
Secondly, although
permitted in theory, it has been positively discouraged in practice, as, for
instance, the Holy Prophet (Peace be on him), who alone has the original right
to interpret the teachings of the Qur’an and whose interpretation alone can be
absolutely correct, says:
“You will not find these men (who beat their wives)
as the good ones among you.” (Abu Da’ud: Sunan, vol. 1, p. 292; etc.)
Again: “No one should ever beat his
wife with a whip like a slave (who was beaten with the whip by non-Muslim
masters).” (Bukhari: Sahih, vol. 2, p. 784.)
Still again: “The best of you is he who is best to his
wife.” (Ibn Majah: Sunan; Bab Husn ma‘ashrat al-Nisa, p. 142.)
Thirdly, it has been made
absolutely clear by the Holy Prophet (Peace be on him) that the beating should
be of a symbolic or nominal type. It should be “striking without injury or
pain,”* and it should be “with a tooth-brush or something like it.”**
* Ibn Majah: Sunan, p. 133. Muslim: Sahih, vol. 1, p. 291
** See Tabari’s Tafsir, vol. 5 , p. 41, Egyptian edition.
Fourthly,
the function of the Holy Qur’an is to provide guidance to human beings
belonging to all stages of social evolution. Consequently, this remedy, while
it may be unthinkable in respect of people belonging to the higher stages of
social evolution, may yet form the only proper and ‘natural’ corrective
instrument in the case of those who stand at the lower ladders of social and
psychological refinement. In fact, it has not only formed a vital part of
marital life but has been regarded as a positive contribution to marital
success among many a community of the world, who have believed in the eminent
philosopher Nietzsche’s verdict: “When you go to a woman forget not your whip.”
And the testimony in this behalf is irrefutable.
Krafft-Ebing
says: “Among peoples of a lower class of culture the subjection of woman is
extended even to brutality. This flagrant proof of dependence is felt by woman
even with sexual pleasure and accepted as a token of love.” (Psychopathia
Sexualis, p. 211).
“Among
the Slavs of the lower class the wives feel hurt if they are not beaten by
their husbands; the peasant women in some parts of Hungary do not think they
are loved by their husbands until they have received the first box on the ear;
among the Italian community a wife, if not beaten by her husband, regards him
as a fool.” (Encyclopaedia of Religion and Ethics, VIII, p. 156).
“The
Englishman’s privilege of beating his wife with a stick not thicker than his
thumb has become rather favorite.” (Ludovici: Woman, p. 13).
According
to the school of thought founded by Freud, the scientist, the father of
Psychoanalysis, and the idol of the rebels against religion: “Helene Dentach
has elaborated Freud’s assumption and generalized it in calling masochism the
elemental power in feminine mental life. She contends that what woman
ultimately wants in intercourse is to be raped and violated, what she wants in
mental life is to be humiliated: menstruation is significant to woman because
it feeds masochistic fantasies: childbirth represents the climax of masochistic
satisfaction.” (Horney: New Ways in Psychoanalysis, p. 110).
2. Procedure in case
of serious disagreement and conflict between the husband and the wife:
(1)Effort at reconciliation through arbitration by a
Family Council composed of one representative from each side,* enjoined:
“And if you (O Muslims) fear a
breach between them twain (i.e., the husband and the wife), appoint two
arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers (—the two knowing the
mentalities, the faults and the merits of both—); then if the two (arbiters)
wish for rectification (i.e., strive for reconciliation earnestly and justly),
Allah shall bring about harmony between the twain: For Allah has full
knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.” (4:35).
* Mark the healthy nature of this prescription, wherein scandal as well as clever manipulations of the law have been avoided and the sanctity of the husband-wife relation has been fully maintained.
(2)(a) While lending its weight to the sanctity of the
marriage relation, the Holy Qur’an gives due consideration to the weaknesses and
aberrations of human nature. Therefore, it allows divorce as a necessary evil,
when that becomes the only remedy for rectifying a situation of irreconcilable
incompatibility.
(b)In allowing the
divorce, however, the Holy Qur’an prescribes a procedure which aims at
eliminating the evils of idiosyncrasy and availing every possible opportunity
and means for reconciliation before the final rupture,—the procedure consisting
in abstention from pronouncing divorce during the menstrual period, which is
the period of least mutual husband-wife attraction, and pronouncing it in three
stages at intervals of one month each, thereby preventing hasty step and
providing the parties repeated opportunity for cool deliberation.
(c)Though
pronouncement of divorce has been placed in the hands of the husband, the wife
has also been given the right to sue for, and obtain, divorce.
(d)In case of
divorce, again, the Holy Qur’an emphasizes with full force the safeguarding of
the welfare of the wife and treatment of the wife with generosity.
(e)The Qur’anic
teaching is also emphatic in safeguarding the welfare of the unborn child, if
that may be the case.
(f)When the
marriage tie has been finally dissolved, the husband is not permitted to take
back his wife, until she has married someone else sincerely and has thereafter
become a widow or a divorcee. This injunction is meant to check husbands from
making fun of marriage, which is a serious affair according to the Holy Qur’an.
(g)A period of
waiting, or probation, has been prescribed for the divorced women as a healthy
gap in their sexual life, and for saving them from taking any hasty step in
connection with their next marriage (which is necessary after the emotional
disturbance caused by the shock of divorce), and for safeguarding the interests
of the unborn child, if any.
(h)Cessation of
relations with the wife without freeing her from the marriage-tie has been
prohibited.
The
following verses of the Holy Qur’an contain injunctions in respect of the
above:
“O Prophet! When you (the Muslims)
do divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count
(accurately) their prescribed periods; and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them
not out of their houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they
are guilty of some open lewdness; those are the limits set by Allah: and any
who transgresses the limits of Allah, does verily wrong his (own) soul: you
know not if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation.
“Thus when they fulfill their term
appointed, either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on
equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with
justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. Such is the admonition
given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And for those who fear
Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out.
“And He provides for him from
(sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah,
sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose.
Verily, for all
things has Allah appointed a due proportion.
“Such of your women as have passed
the age of monthly courses, for them the prescribed period, if you have any
doubt, is three months, and for those who have no courses (it is the same): For
those who carry (life within their wombs), their period is until they deliver
their burdens : and for those who fear Allah, He will make their path easy.
“That is the Command of Allah,
which He has sent down to you : and if anyone fears Allah, He will remove his
ills from him and will enlarge his reward.
“Let the women live (in ‘Iddah),
in the same style as you live, according to your means: Annoy them not, so as
to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs), then spend (your
substance) on them until they deliver their burden : and if they suckle your
(offspring), give them their recompense: And take mutual counsel together,
according to what is just and reasonable, And if you find yourselves in
difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father’s) behalf.
“Let the man of means spend
according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted, let him
spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person
beyond what He has given him. After a difficulty, Allah will soon grant
relief.” (65:1-7).
“Divorced women
shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful
for them to hide what Allah has created in their wombs, if they have faith in
Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them
back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And women shall have
rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but
men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted, Wise.
“A divorce is only permissible
twice: After that, the parties should either hold together on equitable terms,
or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of
your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be
unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If you (judges) do indeed fear
that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no
blame on either of them if she gives something for her freedom. These are the
limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them. If any do transgress the
limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).
“So if a husband divorces his wife
(irrevocably), he cannot, after that, re-marry her until after she has married
another husband and he has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on
either of them if they re-unite, provided they feel that they can keep the
limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah, which He makes
plain to those who understand.
“When you divorce women, and they
fulfill their term, either take them back on equitable terms or set them free
with kindness; but do not take them back to injure them, or to take undue
advantage; if anyone does that, he wrongs his own soul. Do not treat Allah’s
Signs as a jest, but solemnly rehearse Allah’s favors on you, and the fact that
He sent down to you the Book and the Wisdom for your instruction. And fear
Allah, and know that Allah is well-acquainted with all things.
“When you divorce women, and they
fulfill their term, do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands,
if they mutually agree on equitable terms. This instruction is for all amongst
you, who believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is (the course making for)
most virtue and purity amongst you. And Allah knows, and you know not.”
(2:228-232).
“For divorced
women maintenance (should be provided) on a reasonable (scale). This is a duty
on the righteous.” (2:241).
“There is no blame on you if you
divorce women before consummation or the fixation of their dower; but bestow on
them (a suitable gift), the wealthy according to his means, and the poor
according to his means;—a gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who
wish to do the right thing.
“And if you divorce them before
consummation, but after the fixation of a dower for them, then the half of the
dower (is due to them), unless they remit it or the man’s half is remitted by
him in whose hands is the marriage tie; and the remission (of the man’s half)
is nearest to righteousness. And do not forget liberality between yourselves.
For Allah sees well all that you do.” (2:236-237).
“But if you decide to take one
wife in place of another, even if you had given the latter a whole treasure for
dower, take not the least bit back: would you take it by slander and a manifest
wrong?
“And how could you take it when
you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken (from you) a solemn
covenant?” (4:20-21).
“If a wife fears cruelty or
desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an
amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even
though men’s souls are swayed by greed. And if you do good and practise self-restraint,
Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do.
“Ye are never able to be fair and just as
between women even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a
woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air).
If you come to a friendly understanding and practise self-restraint, Allah is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
“If they disagree (and must part),
Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: For Allah
cares for all and is Wise.” (4:128-130).
The Holy Prophet’s exposition of the Qur’anic standpoint: “Of all things permitted by law, divorce is the most hateful in the sight of God.” (Abu Da’ud: Sunan, 13:3).
