Quranic Foundations And Structure Of Muslim Society
(3) RESPECTIVE DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE
For a proper understanding of the mutual rights and duties of the husband and the wife as taught by the Holy Qur’an, it is necessary to begin with a basic evaluation of woman’s position in that teaching.*
* It may be observed at the very outset that the Qur’anic teaching on this problem is in sharp contrast with the point of view of other religions. We may mention here the teaching of the Bible. “According to the Old Testament, woman is responsible for the fall of man, and this became the cornerstone of Christian teaching … It is a remarkable fact that the gospels (barring divorce, Matt. 19:9) contain not a word in favor of woman … The epistles of St. Paul definitely insist that no change can be permitted in the position of woman … St Jerome has anything but good to say of woman ... ‘Woman is the gate of the devil, the road of evil, the sting of the scorpion’. Canon law declares: ‘Man only is created to the image of God, not woman: therefore woman shall serve him and be his hand-maid’. The Provincial Council of Macon (sixth century) seriously discussed the question ‘whether woman had a soul at all’.” (Krafft-Ebing: Psychopathia Sexualis, p. 4. n). As regards the point of view of other religions, primitive as well as civilized, reference may be made to: Encyclopedia of Religion and Ethics.
(A) BASIC GUIDANCE CONSTITUTING THE BACKGROUND OF DUTIES
1. Position of Woman:
We have already seen that the Holy Qur’an makes no distinction between man and woman as regards the fundamental human rights. Here we may specifically state that:
Woman, like man, is the possessor of free personality, and enjoys equality with man, in respect of:
(a) Her spiritual and moral status:
“… Unto men the benefit of what they earn (of virtue), and unto women the benefit of what they earn (of virtue) (i.e., in matters of spiritual grace both, man and woman, enjoy equal status and are independent of one another).” (4:32).
“Lo! men who surrender (unto Allah) and women who surrender, and men who believe and women who believe, and men who obey and women who obey, and men who speak the truth and women who speak the truth, and men who persevere (in righteousness) and women who persevere, and men who are humble and women who are humble, and men who give alms and women who give alms, and men who fast and women who fast, and men who guard their modesty and women who guard (their modesty), and men who remember Allah much and women who remember—Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward.” (33:35).
(b) Her economic rights:
“… Unto men a fortune from what they have earned (of wealth), and unto women a fortune from what they have earned (of wealth) (both being free and equal with regard to the possession of their economic rights) …” (4:32).
“Unto the men (of a family) belongs a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, and unto the women a share of that which the parents and near kindred leave, whether it be little or much—a legal share.” (4:7).
(c) Her legal rights:
“… And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them, according to what is equitable …” (2:228).
“A mother should not be made to suffer because of her child, nor he to whom the child is born (be made to suffer) because of his child (because both are equal before the law) …” (2:233).
2. Inequalities of Condition:
Indeed, as a human being, woman enjoys equality of status with man. With this, however, there are also “inequalities of condition” which have been necessitated by the differences in her physical constitution, mental make-up and her distinct roles in society as mother and as wife. Thus:
(a) as mother:
In the verses we have quoted concerning the duties to parents we find that the Holy Qur’an lays special emphasis on the role of the mother, thereby pointing to the superiority of her role in respect of the child—as a consequence of which she deserves devotion greater, and honour higher, than the father.
(b) as wife:
As a wife, side by side with enjoying equal fundamental human rights, she has been placed one degree different than the husband in the matter of administering the affairs of the family:
“… but men have a degree (of advantage) over them …” (2:228).
It should, however, be clearly kept in mind that, in the Qur’anic teaching, the husband and the wife stand in complementary relation to each other, and never in the relation of the ruler and the ruled, (2:187).
In the presence of the husband, the Holy Qur’an has not chosen her to function as the head of the family, because owing to his masculine constitution and appropriate mental make-up, the husband is better equipped to earn livelihood for the family, to bear the physical strains, and to avert dangers to the family in general. The Holy Qur’an refers to these functions of the husband when, speaking of his role for the wife, it says:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they spend of their wealth (for supporting them and other members of the family) …” (4:34).
Of course, the husband has to administer the family jointly with the wife, according to the Qur’anic law:
“… (Believers are those) who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation (and not arbitrarily)…” (42:38).
As a follower of the Qur’an, it is only in extreme cases that the husband may differ irreconcilably with the wife. But then too he cannot transgress the bounds of justice and mercy; for the Holy Qur’an commands him to be always just, merciful and considerate.*
* See references on absolute justice to all and mercifulness towards all (pp.156, 118).
The second position of the wife as administrator is, thus, not a source of suffering for her but a source of strength and a blessing.
(c) as sharer in inheritance:
In respect of inheritance, the Holy Qur’an has laid down the law:
“… Allah (thus) directs you as regards your children’s inheritance: to the male a portion equal to that of two females …” (4:11).
This, however, has nothing to do with the inferiority of woman, the real reason behind this inequality in share being that the male has been given the role of the breadwinner for the family and, as such, entrusted with the financial burden of himself and his wife and children, while the female has not been given the role of bread-winner and, as such, has not been entrusted with any financial obligations towards anyone, including her husband and children; indeed, not even her own, because that has been made the obligation of the husband. Thus, although getting half of the male’s share, she, in most cases, remains at an advantage as compared with the male, rather than suffering loss.
(d) as giver of evidence in law-suits:
In its law of evidence, the Holy Qur’an had laid down:
“… and get two witnesses out of your own men, and if there are not two men, then a man and two women, such as you choose for witnesses, so that if one of them errs (in her judgment or in her memory), the other can remind her …” (2:292).
This law is based on the fact that unlike man, whose sphere of activity is mostly outside the home and who thereby gains a rich experience of and a sharp judgment about, men and things, the natural sphere of activity for the woman is the home, which does not allow her to acquire the same richness of experience and sharpness of judgment regarding the affairs of the outside world. Hence, she is not likely to hold her own under the severe strain of cross-examination, because of which any possible shortcoming on her part as a witness to a case is required to be made up through a second woman’s evidence.
This is the Muslim point of view, deducible from the above verse itself. And it bears no insult for womanhood.
The non-Muslim point of view with respect to woman’s evidence is, however, harsh and insulting to her.
In the Judaic law, woman is completely debarred from giving evidence. We are told in the Jewish Encyclopaedia, (V, p. 177) that: “The witness must be a man and not woman.” Indeed, “let not the testimony of women be admitted, on account of the levity and boldness of their sex.” (Josephus: Antiquities of the Jews, v, 8:15).
The verdict of the sages of the modern age of enlightenment—of a civilization that is referred to as “Christian”, is:
“The fact that women are difficult to deal with under cross-examination is well-known among lawyers, and their skill in drawing red-herrings across the path of any enquiry directed against themselves, makes them stubborn and evasive witnesses at all times when they have anything to conceal.” (Ludovici: Woman, p. 320).
“We are again and again forced to admit”, says Bauer, “that a woman is not in a position to judge objectively, without being influenced by her emotions.” (Woman and Love, I, p. 289).
In the view of Havelock Ellis: “In women deception is almost physiological … in some countries it has led to the legal testimony of women being placed on a lower footing than that of men.” (Man and Woman, p. 196).
3. The Institution of Marriage:
The Qur’anic point of view with regard to the institution of Marriage is based on the following principles and laws:
(i) Interdependence of man and woman in ensuring fullness of life for each other through mutual affection, mutual confidence and mutual protection as husband and wife has been stressed by using a metaphor of profound beauty:
“… They are a garment unto you, and you are a garment unto them …” (2:187).
(ii) For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation:
“Marry* those among you who are single, and the pious among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: Allah is of ample means, and He knows all things.”** (24:32)
* As to those who cannot afford married life, they have been commanded to observe absolute chastity: (24:33)
** Contrast it with the attitude of those religions which advocate celibacy and idolize it as the ideal of perfection, considering sexual satisfaction even in the bond of marriage as positive evil from the spiritual point of view.
(iii) Marriage is a social contract:
The word nikah, used for marriage in the Holy Qur’an, originally means ‘aqd, according to Imam Raghib (vide Mufradat al-Qur’an); and ‘aqd means contract. Thus the very word nikah implies that marriage is a social contract, and not a sacrament, although it is a sacred contract. Moreover, the Qur’anic permission to terminate the relation of marriage, if it becomes absolutely impossible for the husband and the wife to continue that relation, proves that the Qur’an regards marriage as a social contract only.
(iv) Women are not to be treated as chattels:
“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit (as chattels) the women against their will . . .” (4:19).
(v) Marriage with persons of certain categories has been prohibited:
The Holy Qur’an has prohibited marriage with all those who may stand in the relations of consanguinity, or affinity, or fosterage, in 4:23. Abdur Rahim explains that Qur’anic law thus: “By reason of consanguinity a man cannot marry any female ascendant or descendant of his or the daughter of any ascendant, how high soever, or of any descendant, how low soever, or the daughter of his brother or sister or the daughter of a brother’s or sister’s daughter, and so on. On the ground of affinity he is debarred from marrying a woman who has been the wife of any ascendant of his, and any ascendant or descendant of the wife if marriage has been consummated, or of any woman with whom he has had unlawful connection and any woman who has been the wife of his son or grandson. Generally speaking, fosterage induces the same limits of relationship prohibitive of marriage as consanguinity.” (Muhammadan Jurisprudence, p.329).
(vi) Relations between husband and wife have been conceived as based on mutual co-operation, love and compassion:
“And among His Signs is this, that He created your mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (30:21).
It means that:
a. marriage is essentially a spiritual bond of union, rather than a mere physical relationship;
b. marriage should be contracted with the firm resolve of maintaining that relation for life;
c. monogamy should be the ideal, because that is the ideal condition in which mutual co-operation, harmony and love can be practised normally and smoothly by the common man.
(vii) Polygamy permitted with severe restrictions:
The only Qur’anic verse which contains the permission for polygamous marriage, says:
“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry of the women who seem good to you, two and three and four; and if you fear that (in case of having more wives than one) you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then (marry) only one (free woman) or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.” (4:3).
Important points, worthy of being carefully noted, are:
a. This verse does not enjoin polygamy, but only permits it.
b. Unrestricted polygamy, which had been rampant among the pre-Qur’anic Arabs and many other nations of the world, has been restricted to the maximum of four. Fixing the maximum at four seems to be based on the natural law relating to monthly courses, whereby the husband can do justice in respect of conjugal relations even if he has the maximum of four wives.
c. The permission relates to situations of emergency, and not to normal conditions of life and society.
d. The permission is based, not on considerations of lust, nor on any benefit accruing to the marrying male, but on the principle of sacrifice—of providing protection and support to orphans, while undergoing a severe tension of dealing with all the wives.
e. The permission is conditioned by one’s ability to deal equitably with his wives, which even at the formal level is an extremely difficult condition to fulfill except for those who are thoroughly disciplined, stick to spiritual and moral values above everything else, and enter into marriage for spiritual considerations—for the sake of obtaining Divine Pleasure.
f. Thus this verse, instead of inducing the men to practice polygamy, recommends to them monogamy.
g. Finally, looking at the Qur’anic permission for polygamy with an unbiased mind, every rational person is bound to be convinced that in situations of emergency, namely, whenever there is a preponderance of females—as it happens after the wars—and wherever there is the problem of the uncared for and unsolicited widows and orphans, it becomes a moral duty of God-fearing people to practise polygamy, whereby alone the individuals can be saved from disaster and the community can escape the horrors of prostitution.
The verdict of human history in this behalf, coming down to the year 1970, is indisputable.
The Natal Mercury (Durban, Sept. 10, 1970) reports thus:—
“The people of a strongly Christian town near Calabar, capital of Nigeria’s South-Eastern State, have agreed to relax the one-man-one-wife rule. At a mass meeting recently they decided that every man was free to marry from two to six women at the drastically reduced price of R 10 a wife. Bride price in the area used to be between R 100 and R 300.
“The reason for the move is that the town has been swarming with unmarried girls and widows since the end of the Nigerian civil war. The town’s elders believe that a general return to polygamy will help to keep women from turning to prostitution for a living.
“The decision, almost certain to be approved by the State’s military Government, highlights one of the serious social problems now confronting Nigeria in the aftermath of the 30-month civil war.
“Japan and most of Europe faced similar situations after World War II …
“West Germany, which suffered most and made the most rapid post-war economic recovery, is still faced with the problem of surplus women. And the same is true today of Japan and Italy.
“For Nigeria the problem will be especially difficult to solve. The country is still underdeveloped. The surplus women are mostly illiterate.
“The matter is further complicated by the fact that most ex-soldiers now joining the ranks of the unemployed have no other professional training or skills.
“Federal and State leaders agree that a ‘liberalization of marriage law’ will go a long way to minimizing the problem.
“The main difficulty is the attitude of the Church, still a very powerful influence in the three states in former Eastern Nigeria where the problem is most acute. More than 75 per cent of the population is Christian.
“An Ibo leader told me: ‘We would like our people to follow the example of the Calabar people because the problem is really serious in our area. One difficulty, of course, will be economic … But our main difficulty may be with the Christian missions, especially the Roman Catholic Church which still exercises a strong influence on our people. But we hope the Church will close its eyes, so that Christians can marry as many wives as they can afford just as the Muslims and pagans do. I can see no other way out’.”
“There is”, wrote Dr. Mrs. Annie Besant, the renowned English leader of the Theosophical Movement, “pretended monogamy in the West, but there is really polygamy without responsibility; the ‘mistress’ is cast out to be the ‘woman of the street’, for the first lover has no responsibility for her future and she is a hundred times worse off than the sheltered wife and mother in the polygamous home. When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman, to live in polygamy, united to one man only, with the legitimate child in her arms, and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced, cast out into the street—perhaps with an illegitimate child outside the pale of law— unsheltered and uncared for, to become the victim of any passerby, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all.” (Annie Beasant, The Life and Teachings of Muhammad, p. 3).
(viii) Polyandry and Neoga ruled out:
Recounting the categories of women with whom marriage is forbidden, the Holy Qur’an says:
“… and (forbidden also) are wedded women (i.e., women having husbands)…” (4:24).
Thus the holy book repudiates polyandry (or, plurality of husbands) and the Hindu custom of Neoga (or, loaning the wife to another person for getting an issue), and the custom of exchanging wives practised by certain savage tribes.
(ix) Temporary and ‘companionate’ marriage prohibited:
Temporary conjugal relations are prompted purely by lust, and in no case for establishing that sublime spiritual relation between man and woman which alone can form the basis for building up the family. Therefore, the Holy Qur’an disallows temporary and ‘companionate’ marriages, it says:
“… Except for these (prohibited relations), all others (i.e., other women) are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property (as dower-money), desiring chastity (in permanent companionship), not lust (in any form of temporary marriage) …”* (4:24).
* “Real satisfaction”, says Pollens, “comes not from mere sexual experience but from a relationship which is lasting and continuous and which is built on feelings of affection, devotion and tenderness.” (The Sex Criminal, p. 196)
(x) Dowry enjoined out of regard for woman’s dignity* and her economic interest:
“And give the women** (on marriage) their dower as a free gift…” (4:4).
** This should be clearly distinguished from the evil custom of paying the price of the bride to her parents, a custom widely prevalent in ancient times in many communities of the world, for which refer to Westermarck’s Short History of Marriage, pp. 166-169
*Says Abdur Rahim: “It is not a consideration proceeding from the husband for the contract of marriage, but it is an obligation imposed by the law on the husband as a mark of respect for the wife, as is evident from the fact that the non-specification of the dower at the time of marriage does not affect the validity of the marriage.” (Muhammadan Jurisprudence, p. 334).
to be continued . . . . .
Quranic Foundation & Structure Of Muslim Society In The End Times
